ijustwannamurder

There are words I'd like to use. Sixty tracks of my mind follow through to, "Yes, those are the adjectives of choice, of reason," and the nine other tracks are riddled with stains of the catatonic vomit I've been purging for months now. They insist that no, no those are the words you are supposed to say, not the words that count. Infested, drunk, disheveled and belief is too far gone. Horrified imprisoned cultivated from mud and grease and whatever was unearthed from these curtained walls. No, these have never been the proper words. But never have you had the proper focus, Hannah. Never before have these same eyes glistened toward the voic

She took the final drag of a mournful cigarette; her smoke cloud was called grief. It was a loss greater than she'd anticipated. Not as if the air were being expelled but as if it were filling her. Oxygen replacing her organs, her bones, her marrow and crunch and muscle mass she'd been hacking off at speeds of a thousand planes. It was sure to drop and continue to fall after ground level. It was sure to, after this. Nothing was safe, nothing was fine or even hurt. It wasn't a numbness, like the unconsciousness brought by shock, and her heart remained joltless. Instead the fire rose within her, beginning at the toes he'd gripped in their love

Morning light was harsh. A rough hand rubbed her profile with a swinging gesture as her legs swung similiarly over the edge of what was once her campsite. They touched the ground, alas, carpet instead of gravel- a disappointment she might never get over. What would it be today, she wondered. What would the numbers tell her about how she was to feel? The heart in her "chest" had lost its privilage to decide what her feelings were to be, so the numbers delegated on their own these days. It wasn't that she wanted it, it wasn't that she'd chosen a path of depthless, formless feeling, but her body simply couldn't house the suggestions her brain h

Matte nails of your ridiculous palm are jagged shards of something that may have once been bark, silencing me gently in the crook of my neck Nothing else can be defined, else models architecture Our homes and huts collapsed while you were on your way away If I can't see, it will be me to love my shine, as your light consumes heat Leaves and flakes invade my bed when you come to call Call, come, never go, never leave, never promise to return because you may never Stay, just stay, a route that will remain quite simple, so simple to simply stay Kneel and help me bury the maybes beneath our garden, we'll pluck them and succumb to their mem

To the days of deals we never saw Burning strong, chances we'll watch forever knowing we can't touch them, can't taste the reward To crumpled writing, sticking photos, ripping straps and the couch too cold, too unfamiliar To the violence in passion, maddness constant, existence with question among question To whatever sounds like a lie, to whatever lies to sound like truth And to an agreement we will never come to, unfortunate in gaping volume and overwhelming pressure To a life I hope is there for us without compromise.

When draped in a shirt I accidentally stole, my thighs breathe frozen air and need no friend. Morning brought a grey hymn through his three part window, brought it to me before to him. I gazed at his sleeping face, without wondering what he was dreaming of, but only of what he stored from the night before. Storage for me was reaching a breaking point. Here, let me grab your leg, bend it back, the stretch will relieve you, don't you understand? I could not have delivered more unexpected, unnecessary pain, had I taken a seat with legs tucked in, letting my weight rest soley on his toes. These walls were familiar but the scent differed greatly.